Rose Blumen ~ Exogignesthai

619. Doubts and Philosophy, 9

(Rose)My sweetest Nokarlık has cried a little over the separation between her and her creator. Nightmare still is a very motherly figure, and they haven’t spent a lot of time together.

She smiled so much more meeting her as there was joy. The recollection of all the moments they shared together will remain warm to her.

My sweet child grows too fast.

She’s grown so much. It shows in the way she smiles.

She might truly be the best of all of us.

And as the days over the ocean began, Nokarlık took care of the dragon driving our carriage. She had left the crocodiles as pets behind, to instead take care of a voluminous sea dragon, and technically her first creation.

The beast was made with Nightmare’s hand as well, and is a crossbreed of a giant snake bird like Yaelun was, along with what salty crocodiles features. Its main purpose is to swim.

It is a living being. And they created it together as easily as that.

They will be as gods...

Even I can understand and imagine if only a little, how thrilling and fulfilling it must feel for them.

Creating life, fit for purpose, fit to continue living after its intended purpose is over, and intelligent to be free even from you afterward.

This dragon will serve for its duty. And then it will be free.

It’s insane by my old human standards to toy with life like that.

But I have enough faith in all of them that they didn’t create a monster that would do more harm than good later on, nor to become themselves monstrous masters.

I believe in these childish gods to do what’s reasonably right beyond our own interests.

Nok pets the beast pulling us at great speed across the waters. She turns and smiles at me so brightly, it even stains me in smiles.

~

Lessons continue for there isn’t much else for us to do all day there anyway.

But since we don’t need to work the sail and wheel, we have more space and leisure to work with.

So lessons of old knowledge continue, along with some sport.

Fencing among other things.

I try out gently the new sword of light that Blume forged for me, sparing with Nokarlık.

Nok holds a short curved sword in each hand. She likes to come at me with great playful will. She enjoys doing great movements and twirls that lift her pelt. She likes to jump. She likes to run naked too.

Just like her mother...

R – No, not me! The other mother!

B – Too late. We heard you clearly state it.

R – Youuu!

The mean flower gets her own share of scolding and lessons. In bed mostly.

She knows all too well how to play me.

And no matter how rough my scolding go, I think she enjoys it more than anything.

What pride do I have left? Gosh...

Every year that goes, I feel like I’ve stepped further away from my ideals, and become more beastly.

B – I like it.

R – I know! You evil temptress...

If I were to meet my past teenager self and tell her that’s whom she would become in ten or twenty years, I would surely spook her into fainting on the spot.

B – Do you remember when you used to wear a clean long dress and nicely combed hair?

R – ... No...

Or barely.

But goodness how does this amuses the evil flower so close to my chest. Well, the majority of her laughs are at my expense, one way or another.

B – As your best friend, or well, as your sister used to say, you do make life worth living. You make the changes of things around you interesting.

R – I’d rather be called the lady of changes, rather than lord of chaos.

N – What is chaos?

R – Oh, good question and point. Let’s study the concepts of chaos then today.

And therefore we do.

Everything we’ve discussed, we rearrange and structure, to repurpose them into teachings for Nokarlık.

Everything Bleue believed in, what I thought deeply and that Nightmare loved in her own way, we forward to Nokarlık.

From old thoughts, we make new wine and knowledge.

And Nokaranlık patiently learns of the world, and here mostly how I fit and live on Earth now.

B – By bringing chaos everywhere she goes!

R – Shut the hell up! No Nok, what Blume was meaning to say, and she used poor words for it, is that everything you do will have some influences into your surrounding environment. For example...

I give scornful gazes to the mean spirited flower on the side, whilst trying to pass on knowledge to my child.

Blume just acts lasciviously, as if my anger was foreplay to her.

And she knows how to wink in a way that makes my heart jump in a warm manner.

Curse you!

She just licks her lips as if to beg me to teach her what I mean with my frown and angry gaze aimed at her.

She will be the death of me... Or at least the end of my downfall away from civilization...

~

Hopefully, Nok does learn about love in all that play.

It takes me back... Teaching about what love is and can be.

I can’t quite remember what I taught Blume back then, but she does.

And her comment on it, over my new lesson, is not what I expected.

B – Your understanding and definition of what love is has completely changed, Rose.

R – Has it? That much?

Blume nods, silently, granting me the kindest and warmest of smiles.

She’s not teasing me over it... Perhaps because she has been at the root of my evolution there?

Love is in all that warmth when I hug Nokarlık. In that lust when I hold Blume and her skin against mine. In the pleasure of seeing them smile and making them smile.

My love is about enjoying life and its journey together for a while.

It’s about the desire to see it last longer, and evolving through time together. Walking together.

It doesn’t show much on her skin colour, but I think I made Nokaranlık blush in embarrassment.

Blume is blushing too as I look at her. Goodness, she’s too beautiful for my heart... But... Her? Blushing?

R – Was it that embarrassing?

B – Goodness... You’re still such a romantic Rose...

Okay, I get it. That means it was. Even for my young learning daughter.

All my dignity is now most likely gone.

But I do feel happy. Very happy.

No matter what happens next, today I’m enjoying life to the fullest.

And I love them. A lot!

~